Goal-setting
set goals and actually achieve them
Often enough, we set lofty goals and do not follow through. And when we disappoint ourselves, we come up with creative excuses. We are great planners, and not-so-great executioners. We constantly overestimate our willpower. We tell ourselves that today is 'a special day' and that we will follow up on our goals tomorrow. We assume that we do not need help and structure, and that our enthusiasm and energy will not fade. We like to plan for a perfect world, in which the unexpected does not occur and think change will be final instead of it being a continuing process. This is unrealistic. The first three habits of Stephen Covey's international bestseller '7 Habits of Highly Effective People' set the foundation for successful goal-setting and goal-achievement.
habit 1: Be proactive
To set ourselves up for succes, we need to recognize that between environmental triggers and our behavior, there is a space. In this space we are able to choose our response. Our behavior is a direct consequence of the choices we make, and we cannot blame external conditions, actions of others, or feelings. We should stop victimizing and be proactive. Instead, let's focus on the things in life we can control (be it direct actions or our reactions to what happens). Management guru Stephen Covey calls this operating from our 'circle of influence'. By constantly working from this space, we increase our knowledge, skills, and attitudes, and even enlarge this valuable circle of influence. Personal growth happens outside our comfort zone, but inside our control.
habit 2: Begin with the end in mind
When we realize that we have the power to control our behavior (this is called self-efficacy in psychology), we owe it to ourselves to find out what it is we want to use this control for. Finding your core values is a process, which has long captured man's interest. As early as 350 BC, Aristotle argued in his Nicomachean Ethics, that in life we strive to achieve a 'chief good'. This chief good is desirable for its own sake, and about it he says:
“Will not the knowledge of it, then, have a great influence on life? Shall we not, like archers who have a mark to aim at, be more likely to hit upon what is right? If so, we must try, in outline at least, to determine what it is, and of which of the sciences or capacities it is the object.”
This metaphor resonates, even thousands of years after Aristotle lectured on the topic. Many of us do not know what we are aiming at and what our chief good is. People might spend their whole career climbing a ladder, only to find it leaning against the wrong wall. We get distracted by immediate and short-term projects, which prevent us from thinking about what it is we truly value. Daily life is so busy that we do not spend much time on deep introspection, to find out what we aim to achieve in our life.
“In an increasingly unpredictable world moving ever more quickly, a detailed map may lead you deep into the woods at an unnecessarily high cost. A good compass, though, will always take you where you need to go. It doesn’t mean that you should start your journey without any idea where you’re going. What is does mean is understanding that while the path to your goal may not be straight, you’ll finish faster and more efficiently than you would have if you had trudged along a preplanned route.”
This is why Stephen Covey argues that we should create our own Personal Mission Statement. This statement consists of our core values and principles, and forms our own stable and unchanging center. It is a process to form this mission statement, and we should visualize what our overarching goals are in rich detail.
How do we create our Personal Mission Statement? We can use a plan devised by Warren Buffett and augmented by Dr. Angela Duckworth:
- Create a list with around 25 (career) goals
- Take some time for introspection and soul searching and circle the 5 goals with the highest priority. Just five. Ask yourself questions like: Which goals give you most energy? Which goals have been important to you for a long time? Which goals align with your character strengths? Which goals are things you think you 'should' do, based on the society you live in and people around you?
- Take a good look at the 20 items that you did not circle. This is your 'avoid at all cost list'. These goals distract you. They take up precious energy from the goals that really do matter.
- What is the overarching goal, the common purpose that aligns with these five goals? Focus on this main goal. This goals forms your inner compass that directs your energy. Do not take your eye off the ball and persevere in pursuit of this passion.
Coaching can further help you uncovering your true values, and understand them in the context of your personality and strengths.
habit 3: put first things first
When we know what we are striving for, we need to execute. Based on our core values, we can set more specific and lower-order goals. We might need to create new positive habits, eliminate destructive ones, and preserve or accept other elements in our life. Again, taking charge of our lives, instead of reacting to external triggers.
Make your goals s.m.a.r.t.
You have probably heard this before, making your goals SMART - Specific, Measurable, Achievable but Aggressive, Relevant and Time-bound. This will help you focus, find motivation and follow through in time.
make external commitments and gather feedback
Successful goal setting does not stop with formulating a SMART goal. To ensure that you will achieve them, make an external commitment, for example by sharing your goal with friends, colleagues, or me. This is one of the great advantages of coaching: you will be held accountable for the goals you set for yourself. Lastly, when setting your goals, think about how you can get feedback. How do you know you are making progress? What do you need to tweak to realize your goal? What does success look like? Continue to measure progress as you work towards your goal.
“How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and, keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and do what really matters most. If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster. We may be very busy, we may be very efficient, but we will also be truly effective only when we begin with the end in mind.”
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